I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nutella sex= disaster
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
