It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
