i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
