Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize