I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize