I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think we might need a safe word for this...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
