his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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