drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
