Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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