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yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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