oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
