You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize