The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
