His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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