Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
