remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My balls are so social today.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
