I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
