I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
