can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
