i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
