Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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