Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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