If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
