Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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(803): View more from South Carolina

The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Faces of meth called, they want their look back.

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(937): View more from Ohio

NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.

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(813): View more from Florida

I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.

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