I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
