listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
