Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
honey bunches of taint.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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