How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
