Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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