you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
