I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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