My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
