actually, I'm a sock model
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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