I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
