my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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