If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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