What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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