FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
