I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
