are you still at the devil's house?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
