I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
