im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
