There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
