And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
