she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
