Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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