Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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