I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
