All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
