I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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