Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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