ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
