who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
whose parrot is this?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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