Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
