I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
