"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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