Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
