There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
