apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When are your genitals available?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
