Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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