I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
