He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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