so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
