Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
