Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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