Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
