I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
