do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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