Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
