So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
