C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
