i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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